


Black Box

by BubbaKnowlton



Series: All my Beloved (Awful) Children [6]
Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Ambiguous/Open Ending, Angst with an unhappy ending, M/M, Mentions of Murder, Miscarriage, Mpreg, Sad!Leia, given up!Hux, implied major character death but if it actually happens who knows, my guys r u ready for my angst fic, scene/POV/time switches, xeno hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-26
Updated: 2016-09-26
Packaged: 2018-08-17 10:45:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,255
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8141071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubbaKnowlton/pseuds/BubbaKnowlton
Summary: Driven half mad after the events of Starkiller, Kylo makes the mistake of losing his temper with Hux, who's five months pregnant.-Hux recounts the story of when he realized Kylo was a nonfunctional human being, a monster, simply put, with Leia, after being captured and taken to be locked away forever, with a black box he refuses to let go of.





	

**Author's Note:**

> 'oblio no' OBLIO YES here's my latest ~angst~ fic  
> i wrote the majority of this when Exhausted so u know that means I put my soul into it also I thought of this idea at like 3 am in Detail™ and teared up so take that as u will

**Black Box**

The day that Hux found out he was pregnant was the happiest he'd ever seen the redhead. Hux had come back from the medbay with an actual smile on his face, and an absolutely overwhelming amount of joy pouring off of him. He was practically bouncing with excitement as he immediately grabbed at him, saying, "I'm pregnant!" and kissing him fiercely. It'd been a struggle to not get crushed as Hux climbed onto him, covering him in kisses, hands trembling from how _happy_ he was.

The ginger finally calmed down while Kylo tried to recover from the completely new experience of an overexcited Hux, and they laid down on the bed together. Hux got as close as possible to him, and pulled his hands over his still completely flat stomach. "Our _baby_ is in there, Ren! This is amazing!"

"You're-"

"Ren, this is the greatest thing that's ever to me since Starkiller started being built, to us! We're going to be parents!"

"Really?"

"It's why I've been sick lately, the medical droid did a few tests and they all came back positive. I'm only around seven weeks along, and the droid said the baby looks perfectly healthy. My due date is near our anniversary, too, I can hardly wait." He wriggled down so he could shove his head under Kylo's chin. "Isn't this wonderful?"

Kylo wasn't even sure half the time if he was ready to be in a relationship, despite the fact he and Hux had been in one for almost three years, there was no way he was ready to be a parent. How was he supposed to be a parent when he was focused on his dark side training, had no experience with children whatsoever? As far as he knew, Hux had never had any experience either. How were they supposed to raise a child on a warship?

But... Hux looked so happy, jittery with excitement, was already so in love with their barely developed baby that it was impossible not to sense, it would be cruel to ruin it by saying he didn't share the same sentiment. Besides, he would surely warm up to the idea of parenting by the time it was actually born. He had over seven months to do so.

"...Ren?" Hux had pulled away a bit, was staring at him, worry starting to show on his features at his lack of response. "You're happy about the baby too, right...?"

Anxiety started to radiate off of him. It would shatter him if he told the truth. So Kylo smiled at him and kissed him instead, wrapping him up in his arms and pulling him on top of him. Hux laughed, the bliss coming back full force.

Eventually, they ended up back next to each other, Hux on his back and Kylo on his side, facing him. Hux rubbed his stomach slowly, his expression completely serene as he talked for hours about everything he wanted to do as a parent, after Starkiller would hopefully end the war a few months before he gave birth, so they'd be able to raise their child in a more peaceful galaxy, better than their parents could ever manage.

-

"In my opinion, General Organa," Hux looked far too accepting of his fate, Leia thought, "your son should have never been born."

"What do you mean?"

"Here's the thing, before I start... I loved him, I still do, somehow, even with the horrid things he's done to me."

"Horrid things?"

"This box. The one you tried to take from me, will explain. I cannot bring myself to speak of the incident without some sort of... build up to it."

"Alright then, go on. Why should my son have never been born?"

"Simply put, Organa, he doesn't know how to be a normal human being. Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, whatever you wish to call him, cannot function properly. I realized this, sadly, far too late. The contents of this box- the incident that caused it, are what gave me this epiphany."

"The box... which contains what, exactly? How is that box going to prove to me that my son shouldn't exist?"

"Not that he shouldn't exist, just that it would be better off for him and the rest of the galaxy if he didn't."

-

He'd adjusted, gotten used to the idea that he was going to be a parent. He was nervous, yes, but more so about how he was going to parent, not that he was going to be one. Hux had made it clear he wanted to raise the child with lots of attention and care, to show them all the love their parents hadn't. At times he wanted to say his own parents had loved him, they'd just screwed up, but he'd only mentioned vague, bad things about Han and Leia the past three years, and Hux came to his own conclusions. 

Not that he was completely wrong. They definitely wouldn't be sending their child off to some Jedi school with barely any explanation and hardly any contact from thereafter. Since Hux was basing everything under the assumption that by the time the baby was born, the war would be over and the First Order would have won, he wanted to keep the child with them at all times. When it was older, they'd send it to school, but a normal one where they would pick them up everyday. If they were force sensitive and too high maintenance to be under force-null supervision, then homeschooling was a valid option too.

But in order to make that a reality they had to put all their effort into Starkiller and finding Skywalker.

Then everything went wrong with Starkiller.

-

"You know, I was 18 weeks pregnant when I fired Starkiller, Organa." Hux leaned back in the seat they'd shoved him in. The black box was on his lap, and he was holding it almost protectively. They'd scanned it, it contained no weapons nor anything alive.

"Really?" It'd only been around that long since then, he clearly wasn't-

"Yes, I hardly showed, and I wore my greatcoat, so you couldn't tell by the broadcast. Your grandchild, at one point, was growing inside of me, one of your worst enemies. Perhaps they would have had red hair. Imagine that, a Skywalker with my hair color, would have matched Ren's lightsaber, since he would have tried to train them in fighting." He added as an afterthought, "I would have taken it away, of course, that thing was dangerous, just like its wielder."

"I see."

"I was _so_ excited. I envy you, Organa, you got to carry your son to term, your broken monster son. I bet you regretted him, at times, didn't you? A victory kid- he was a result of celebration for killing Vader and the Emperor, I imagine, not planned. I never regretted mine, despite them being unplanned too." He gave a soft laugh, as if he had mentioned that to someone before. "Funny- we were in the middle of a war, and I was so damn happy. Ren... now Ren didn't know what to think. He lied to me, said he was excited too, faked every positive reaction to everything I said. All my nightly talks about how I wanted to raise our child after the war ended, I bet he wanted me to just shut up and sleep."

Ah, she could see where this was going. She wanted confirmation, "Where is the child, then?"

Hux tapped the black box. "I haven't gotten to telling you exactly why your son should have never been born, why he can't function. That'll come into play."

Her eyes widened, "Ben wouldn't-"

His tone dropped low, "Ren _did_."

-

He spent two weeks in the medbay recovering from his injuries on Starkiller. The General, he was told, was working from his quarters, forbidden by the medics from coming down or doing anything but rest and datapad work. He was fine, a medic said, but they were worried about his and the baby's healths, and decided that would be the best course of action. So he was alone in the medbay, with his own thoughts eating away at him.

He drove himself half mad with thoughts of his father, the scavenger, what he'd done. By the time the second week was up, he had completely forgotten about most of reality, muscle memory taking him back to Hux's quarters as soon as he was allowed to leave.

Everything felt like it was pulsing, his eyes and throat were burning. He barely managed to punch in the code to get in.

He could-

He could feel the light side tugging at him, the dark side tugging at him. It was overwhelming, it felt like he was going to split in half. His head, his body, his soul, everything was being tugged at its seams.

"Ren!" A fragment back to reality, as Hux hugged him tightly. The piece snapped as sensing Hux's out of whack force presence made him feel sick. The developing force aura inside of him was giving him a headache already. "You're out of the medbay! I wanted to see you, but the medics insisted I stay and rest. I'm so glad you're okay, I was worried about you... Come on, you still need rest, too, sit down with me." Hux pulled him over to the bed, and Kylo tumbled onto it, somehow getting his limbs to work and pull his legs onto the bed.

Hux crawled on, getting right in his lap. Everything was making his head hurt, he felt sick, the force was tearing his soul in half.

"The baby's alright. A medical droid has been checking everyday. Hopefully all the stress I've been under won't affect them. The droid says they're fine, so I'm trying not to worry. Now that you're back I already feel a lot better."

The ginger's voice was grinding his ears, each syllable digging at his skull. He was being torn to shreds-

-

"I was five months pregnant when this incident happened." Hux set the box on the table between them. His hands shook over the clasp to unlock and open it. "Ren had just finished recovering from his injuries obtained on Starkiller. He'd turned into a monster."

-

"What happened in the oscillator? I got a report from some troopers that you faced Han Solo and killed him. A Resistance war hero, that's sure to cripple them. You stabbed him with your lightsaber, right?"

Han Solo-

Hux rested his head against Kylo's shoulder, smiling. "I'm proud of you. You did a great job doing that, and you're alive. We're going to fine, even without Starkiller, I'm sure."

"Han Solo was my father."

"Really? Well- that's great, Ren!" Hux lifted his head. He pressed a kiss to Kylo's lips. "You're brilliant. Killing your own father? That must have strengthened your dark side abilities! Ren, I'm so proud of you, just think of how strong you'll be when you get rid of Skywalker and Organa, if you took out Han Solo! Tell me how it went."

Reality blurred.

"Ren? _Ren_ -!" Kylo shoved him away, chest heaving.

Hux tried to pry at the invisible fingers that suddenly wrapped around his throat, gasping. Spots danced at his vision and Kylo roared, using the force to throw him against the far wall. Hux cried out as he hit the metal with a loud thud. He dropped to the floor, groaning.

Something went out.

Reality came back full force, with the horror of what he'd just done. "Hux?!"

"Kriff..." Hux pushed himself back up. Then he froze, eyes going wide. His hands flew to his belly. "Oh gods... the baby-!"

"Hux, I-"

"Get away from me!" Hux yelled, as he tried to get close, fear engulfing him. He wrapped his arms around his stomach, squeezing. "Don't you dare come one step closer!"

"You don't understand-"

Hux scrambled to his feet, panic rolling off of him. As he fled the room, Kylo screamed. He'd killed his father, and now-

He tore up the room with the force, guilt ripping him apart.

-

"I'm sorry, sir, there's no heartbeat."

"No... please..."

-

Leia watched as Hux finally clicked the box open. One side of it swung open, and he reached in, gently pulling out a container. She winced as soon as she saw what was inside. 

"This is your grandchild, thanks to Ren." His voice was choked up. "He strangled me and threw me at a wall. I miscarried, but the medics were able to preserve the child when removing the pregnancy tissue before I could bleed out. You can see where they're damaged, the skull is crushed here." He tapped near the back of the thing's head. He put it back in the box, locking it up again. "Sorry, I can't look at it for more than a minute without getting overwhelmed, I'm sure you don't want to see me start weeping."

"It is perfectly natural for a person to grieve."

"Your son doesn't share the same sentiment. He tried to force it away from me, last month. Grabbed it out of my hands and threatened to throw it in the incinerator. One of my troopers shot him with a stun so I could get it back. I've been avoiding him since the incident. I'm worried he'll kill me next. He wants to kill all of his family, you know."

"What?"

"I figured it out, while I was in the medbay, waiting for him to show up and grieve with me, beg me for forgiveness, tell me it was some sort of side effect from some medication, just a fit of rage, anything but what it actually was."

-

The bacta patch on his stomach was uncomfortable, but that and the ceiling were the only things he was focusing on. The whole medbay had heard him crying yesterday, and the day before that. He didn't want to bother them anymore. They didn't mind, he could tell they all just felt sorry for him. First Starkiller and now his child, he heard one medic say with pity, the first day, after the droid performing the ultrasound announced there was no sign of life in the baby.

After that they'd put him under to perform surgery, remove all the tissue so that he wouldn't be stuck delivering a stillborn. He'd requested that they preserve the child, and then he was unconscious. They'd kept him out for hours, far longer than they had to. 

Even though he was pretty much fully healed, they were keeping a bacta patch on him just in case, for extra healing.

The curtains around his bed moved, and then were being brushed aside as someone came in. Kylo, with his hood pulled low enough that Hux couldn't see his expression with the shadow underneath. He looked tense, arms crossing as soon as the flimsy curtain stilled.

"Ren?" He'd been in here for over two days, wondering when his partner would show up. "I- I almost thought you weren't coming."

"So did I."

O...kay. That was unlike Kylo, to not come see him if he was in the medbay. The last time he'd been in here it'd been a fight just to get the Knight out of the way. "I... I lost the baby."

"I'm aware. I felt its life force go out." He sounded cold, distant, so unlike himself.

"The medics- I had them preserve the child." He pulled up the container from where it was beside him. He couldn't bear to look at it for longer than a few seconds, but refused to have it taken away. He sat it on his lap, looking at Kylo to avoid it. 

Kylo recoiled visibly. "Why would you keep that thing?!"

"It- it's our baby, why not?"

"That's- it should be disposed of, burned."

"No!" _Burned?_ Kylo clenched his fists, growling under his breath. "What's gotten into you?"

"I'm trying to become stronger in the force. Killing people that were dear to me once, I'm going to complete my training. I can't have any weaknesses-"

"What does this have to do with the baby? Why didn't you show up? I've been in here for three days, waiting for you!"

"My weakness-! I have to eradicate my family to become stronger. My father was the start, now it's-"

"This isn't the time for your cryptic nonsense, Ren! What in blazes are you going on about? I want an explanation for what happened in our quarters. You went mad, and now our child is dead!"

"I should have never killed my father."

"You- you killed the baby on purpose?"

"If only I hadn't killed Solo-" Kylo wasn't listening to him.

Hux felt numb. "Ren... how could you...? I thought you wanted the baby."

" _No!_ Everything was wrong, I had to do it!"

"You...killed our baby...on purpose..." Hux dug his fingers into his palm and burst, "GET OUT!"

Kylo snapped back to reality, "What?"

"Get out my sight! I never want you to come near me again, you _monster_!"

-

Hux ran his fingers over the box absentmindedly, as if he didn't even know he was doing it. His eyes were wet, but he seemed to be resigned to the fact that everything was over for him. His sense of purpose was gone, his child was dead, and his lover had betrayed him.

Leia could barely wrap her head around the fact that Ben could do such a thing. Killing his father- that was all Snoke, but his own child?

"What did Snoke think of the child?"

"He didn't care. He just said he wanted it to be a worthy asset to the Order or the Knights."

So Snoke hadn't told him to commit feticide, only patricide. She couldn't see how either of those things could possibly have strengthened her son, but Hux was here with evidence. 

"I thought- I thought the war would be over by now. I wanted to have the baby in a peaceful galaxy, where it wouldn't face the discrimination that I did, as an Imperial child. And if it was force sensitive, it wouldn't be subject to the awful teachings of Sith nor Jedi, it would just be whatever it wanted. Wasn't that a stupid idea? Of course it could never happen. I wanted it to, though, I believed it would for a long time."

He sighed. "Well, Ren made sure that never happened. I suppose... Maybe it was for the better. Or maybe not. You're going to lock me up, right? Show mercy to an Imperial tyrant to prove to the galaxy you're better than I could possibly be?"

"Yes."

"Put a knife in my cell, would you? It'll save you the cost of feeding me. Bury me with the baby on Arkanis, if you can. If not- I don't blame you for dumping us in an incinerator. Just- don't keep the box, when I die. It's mine, not yours, even if Ren is your son. He gave up all parental claim when he killed it."

"If I remember."

"And tell Ren, if you see him, that I really wish he'd just told me in the start he didn't want it. I would have gotten a simple abortion, waited until he was ready to have another."

"I will." She could grant him that. Two guards came up and forced him to his feet. He took the box and held it close.

"Goodbye, Organa. It was nice to speak with you."

"I can't say the same."

"Well, that's true."

**Author's Note:**

> What happens after this? Well Kylo definitely doesn't somehow get his relationship back that's for sure. They're done, Hux will never accept any sort of explanation from him, ever. Does he save him, though? Who knows.
> 
> Follow/talk to me on Tumblr! @Oblioknowlton or @Tinybibmpreg


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